Beratting a Bad Cripple

Claire asked why do I berate myself. Well, in part I have feared, truly feared, would develop such a wound or wounds. I worked hard to avoid such sores as I know they are deadly. I took precautions to insure they would not occur. These precautions failed. Yes much was working against me, surgery, bed rest for two weeks etc. In short I alone am responsible for my current predicamant and utter dependency. I do not do dependency well nor am I good at asking for help. But I am going to have to improve these skills. I have no choice. I doubt I will sit up before Xmas. Acknowledging this fact is deeply depressing. The fact is I am just starting on my road back to normalcy or what passes for normal when one is paralyzed. Sorry but I guess even I have my demons to fight. And fight I will. I just need time to adjust to my current situation.